Chocolate Chip Cookies

Wednesdays are my day to bake and clean the house. Today happened to be cookie making day for the Husband's lunches. Elisabeth loves to help me make any kind of baked good, but cookies are her most favorite. I love the wonder in her eyes as she watches the ingredients mix together to create the most delicious cookie dough. She would eat the whole thing if I'd let her (much like her Uncle Kenny who used to make cookies just to eat the dough). She's my favorite person to bake with. I'm so glad she enjoys it as much as I do!

Watching as the cookie dough mixes

Elisabeth's favorite part is adding the chocolate chips!

Nibbling time!

She held it so close like it was a dear thing

My happy little baker!

 

Caught red-handed!

Licking the beater clean

Yummy balls of dough waiting to bake

Delicious chocolate chip cookies!

This is the recipe I grew up eating and now make for my family. Enjoy!

Chocolate Chip Cookies


1 cup butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
2 cups chocolate chips
2 1/2 cups old-fashioned oats


Preheat oven to 350.
In a mixer, beat butter until creamy. Add both sugars and beat until fluffy.  Add eggs and vanilla, beat some more. Add flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt; stir to combine. Add chocolate chips, stir. In a food processor, grind the oats into a coarse powder. Add to dough and stir to combine. It will be think, so you'll need to scrape down the sides of the bowl until all the oats are incorporated. Scoop out dough and place on a baking sheet (I line mine with a silicone mat) and bake for 13 minutes. Remove from cookie sheet and let cool on a wire rack. Enjoy!!

Being Brave

Yesterday we went with friends to a fun place where we could feed goats. At first Elisabeth was a little leary of allowing the goats to eat the cracked corn right out of her hands. (She doesn't really like to have her hands dirty.) But, she decided to be brave and tried it. I am so proud. There's nothing quite like watching our kids conquer their fears. 

Swinging by the goat pen

My sweetie pie

Silly swinging!

Trying to get the very last morsels of corn !

Crazy hungry goats

Gathering more cracked corn

We had a lot of fun!

When I asked Elisabeth what her most favorite part of the day was she replied,
"Feeding the goats!"

Holy Ground

“... For the place on which you are standing is holy ground.” (Exodus 3:5)

I once believed this holy ground could only be found in “spiritual” places.  Like during mountain top retreats, during a worship service or a church building.  Not in normal places like the grocery store, a playground, or my house. Never my house.  It’s too normal (and, well, messy!) to be considered holy ground. 

Despite the normality of where I find myself in life, I have experienced more breathtaking moments in the daily grind than I did during my years at Bible college and serving at youth camps. The heart pounds, the breath catches in the throat and I wish time would simply stop.

Stop and let me soak up His goodness in the newly painted pink toe nails on my daughter’s chubby toddler feet.

Pink is the best color for pedicures!

Stop and let me catch my breath as I stare at the rays of sunlight coming through my open blinds, a reminder of His glory.

Stop and let me cling to the sweetness of His love in giving me a husband who is the greatest gift....ever.

Will and Elisabeth on a donut date!

Stop, let me take my shoes off and find a way to express all the thanks in this heart of mine that is on the verge of exploding.

They are just moments. And they pass so quickly because time does not stop. I attempt to make them last longer as I write in my journal…

… soft curls of gold

… sweet kisses good night

… a warm kitty to pet

… clean counters

… a brother’s surprise visit

… ripening tomatoes

Simple moments that reflect the beauty of God.  Simple, daily moments.  On my journey to see God in the mundane I have not been disappointed.  He is here.  He makes this life I live holy ground.  I get the simple joy of seeing and loving and worshiping right here in my kitchen or in the middle of the grocery aisle. 

Life is beautiful because He is in it. 

Potty Prayers

There are days, or maybe just moments within some days, that I feel like the choice my husband and I have made to live outside of the mainstream Christian mode of operations are impacting our daughter’s awareness of God in a negative way. We don’t “go to church” like we were raised to do. We don’t do daily Bible readings as a family, pray before meals all that often or really do what is expected of Christian people to be doing (ministry, missions, prayer meetings, evangelism, Bible classes, etc.).  If we were to be judged on behavior and building attendance (which seems to be all that gets judged because that’s all we humans can see) we would most likely fall under the category of “bad Christian” or at the very minimum, “backslidden.” Honestly, I feel like a rebel.

It’s the days where I see the reality that my daughter is getting a completely different experience of God in life than we had growing up that I start to get nervous. Should we join a group of people who meet in a building so that she gets the Sunday School experience?  Am I doing a horrible job teaching her about Jesus because we don’t do things like prayer or Bible readings that often?  How else would she learn about Jesus if we’re not doing those things?!  The guilt builds (it’s good at that).

And, then my sweet Savior sends His calming balm to soothe my restless thoughts.

The scene is simple and very daily. We’re in the midst of potty-training – well, the hard part is over and E has been using the toilet for about 3 months now. E is seated on the potty, doing her business, and I am seated on the rim of the bathtub listening to her babble on about something in her made-up language. In an instant I wanted to freeze time.

There she was with her head bowed, chubby hands clasped and whispering ever so sweetly, “Thank you for Jesus.” I choked back the tears. She looked up at me and smiled, “I praying, Mommy!” Yes, yes you are. What a profoundly beautiful prayer!  

Thank you for Jesus. It just doesn’t get better than that. Thank you for His Life. Thank you for His Love. Thank you for His ever-flowing fountain of grace that rains down to quench our thirsty souls. Thank you for the insight of a two-year-old. Thank you for Jesus!

It was in that moment that I knew He was saying to me, “You don’t need Sunday schools, scheduled prayer or Bible time to know Me. I am Life. I AM.” I’ve known this for years now. It’s why we chose to walk a different path than the one we were raised on. He is the very essence of Life and where there is Life, He is there. He is the I AM. There is not a moment on this earth that He does not fill. It is our choice to see Him or not.  He spoke through a little girl sitting on the toilet – how much more daily can you get?

I love Him. I love how involved in the mundane of normal life He is. I love that He cares what troubles our hearts. I love that He lives this life of mine with me, moment by moment. He’s here, living this very earthy life with me and making it a very holy one at the same time. Wherever He is, that is holy ground. We don’t need specific buildings or special times in order to know Him – we just need to open our eyes to what is happening all around us with every breath we take. He is here.

My daughter is growing up with that understanding – something I didn’t grasp until my early 20’s. She is learning that any place and any moment is the perfect time to worship Him. And reminding me as well. 

Thank you for Jesus.

A Love Affair....

Love is something I think about daily. I don’t fully understand my deep fascination with Love, but I am enamored despite my lack of understanding. It’s not a thing easy to grasp or fully comprehend.  This is probably why I have spent the last nine years of my life obsessed with Love.

While I think my story begins nine years ago, the truth is Love has fascinated me all my life.  It’s part of being human. We enter this world starving for Love.  My brain didn’t begin to realize the affair I’ve had with Love until a certain boy entered my world and turned it upside down.  That’s what Love does best – changes everything and makes it into something more beautiful than what our finite brains can imagine.  I love Love.

At sixteen, it’s easy to fall head over heels in love.  The pressures of adult life aren’t weighing you down.  You’re still a kid (no matter how grown up you think you are!) and the emotions are so real and powerful – too powerful to resist. And I had no desire to resist!

That boy with his green eyes and love of music fascinated me.  That boy with a tender heart drew me in faster than I had ever thought possible.  That boy with his quiet nature and soft words was a mystery I desperately wanted to solve.  In November we’ll celebrate the ninth anniversary of a Heavenly promise coming true with our fifth wedding anniversary. Love has made these nine years beautiful.

Our beginning is fun to reminisce about together. The secret love-affair growing in our hearts through our high school years. Our weekly "dates" at the mall where he would visit me at work at the pretzel booth. The many curfews broken because we were so caught up in conversation we lost track of time (much to our parents' frustration). Lots and lots of laughter as we got to know one another.

Our middle, those were our painful years. Years of waiting to speak out of the fullness of our hearts to one another. Years of hoping and praying through heartache that we had heard from Heaven correctly. Years of friendship that longed to be more – so very much more. Years of Love that had to be hidden until the time was right. Oh, the agony of waiting for what is right before your eyes.

And, then the dating. The joy we kept secret for weeks. Waiting to hold hands and feel the electricity of a simple touch. The pressure of outside forces telling us what we were to be once they found out we had become an “us” -- and desperately wanting to be free from these new standards.  The fighting between ourselves while holding our Bibles open.  The asking, “Is this supposed to be love?!” Hoping there was more – desperate for something else because our hearts could not accept this as truth. This was not what we had waited years to experience. Where was the bliss? The passion? The Christ-love we were supposed to be echoing?

A few months into dating our eyes were opened to a Love beyond our imagination. A Love full of grace and mercy.  To see the face of Love is to see Christ.  To look into His eyes and see ourselves for who we really are: saintly (Ephesians 2:19), holy (1 Peter 2:9), complete (Colossians 2:10), Christ-filled (1 Corinthians 1:30; Ephesians 2:6). Our search for Love landed us in the middle of an ancient Love Story, one we had heard only parts of until that moment. To have our eyes opened changed how we saw the world... and one another.

We learned to be content with ourselves, with one another. Our new insight took the pressure off ourselves to perform in any certain way. We were free. Free to make our own choices, to be the kind of “us” we wanted to be. Gone were the shackles of being a "good Christian couple." There are no standards for “good” with Christ – there is only Life and death.  We have chosen Life.  Christ's Life. 

It is daily, this Love. It is full of many distractions – a messy house, bills to pay, and a job with long hours. And our daughter – the greatest distraction that brings us joy overflowing. But, despite the distractions and the imperfections of our humanity, Love abounds. I find myself still trying to solve the mystery that is this boy-turned-man. He still makes me laugh late into the night, long after we should be sleeping (only, it's our bodies who are frustrated by breaking the "curfew" this time around). We are still the kids we were in a lot of ways. And, yet, I rather like the adults we've become in this life we've chosen to live.

Me and my Man

Our story is a constant reminder to us of how precious this life is. Our years of waiting spur us on to never take what we have at this moment for granted. We are living our God-promise every day. And, every day we gain a deeper understanding of what it is to Love and be Loved. Our lives are but an echo of the depths that can be found in Jesus. 

Personally, I find this to be a beautiful echo.

Beautiful

This was the first word used to describe my daughter as soon as she entered the world.  Beautiful.  It takes my breath away to just think of the magnificence such a tiny person holds. 

It is deeper than her big, blue eyes with thick, long lashes to frame them.  It is more than her perfectly pink lips turned upward in a constant smile throughout the day.  It is more than the delicate, creamy, soft skin that covers her entire body.  It is more than the soft, golden-brown ringlets that bounce on her head whenever she moves.  She is beautiful to look at, but her beauty seeps to deep within. Beyond what the eye can see.

Beautiful.  Her heart is so tender, so kind.  She feels so deeply and loves so openly.  Her voice is sweet to the ear and her laugh music to the heart.  Beautiful.  It’s who she is.

When I look at my girl I am always in awe of her magnificent Creator.  That He could take all of the love my husband and I share and contain it in a tiny body is beyond my comprehension.  To see, in physical form, the reality of one life coming from two leaves me speechless.  She is a miracle.  There is no other way to see her.  From the moment we learned of her conception to this day as we enjoy her in all her 2-year-old glory, she is a miracle.

The day she was born Heaven entered that OR . There were no bright lights or “Hallelujah” choruses being sung, but laying eyes on her red, perfect body as she was carried from my womb to the warmer, I was a witness to the miracle of Life. 41 weeks of carrying her in my body, 56 hours of trying to get her out on my own and finally, after an unplanned surgery, my eyes met hers and I breathed, “Beautiful.”

My first moments of Motherhood

As I behold her now, 2 years later (and a couple of months), I still breathe that same word.  I see Jesus in her every day.  The light behind her eyes and the exuberant step in her feet declare His glory. The way she plays, laughs, loves and lives is a constant testament to the amazing hands that formed her out of love. The love her father and I share.  The love Jesus is and has declared.  The love of a Creator who marvels in His handiwork.

Love is what makes her so beautiful.

Trust

Being the mother of a toddler I am just beginning to enjoy the bad habits children bring home after playing with other kids their age or things they’ve seen or heard out and about.  The “sponge phase” is so fun.  My husband and I will look at one another after hearing something sassy come out of our daughter's mouth and ask, “Where did she get this from?!”  We had the discussion the other day about how parenting doesn’t get any easier the older she gets.  I suppose it’s a good thing we’ve come to this conclusion when she’s 2 and not having this reality check in 10 years.  There’s always a silver lining.

I’ve had discussions with a few people over the last few weeks about how one ought to combat the bad habits picked up from the outside world.  My Mom reminded me of the thousands of conversations she had with my siblings and I when I was growing up that always ended with the question, “And what is your last name?”  I always hated hearing that come out of my parents’ mouths when my friends got to do or say things that weren’t permitted in my family, but it’s certainly a phrase my daughter will be hearing. We’re raising her in the way that we believe is right and not everyone is going to agree with us – and that’s okay.  Although, it’s easy to say all that until behaviors that are unacceptable in our opinion start entering the picture.

I’m realizing that I am so quick to focus on the behavior of people in a judgmental way.  Having grown up under a religion that teaches “sin management” and “behavior modification” it’s really hard to get rid of that old tape playing in my head!  I no longer believe the issue is simply behavior related.  What matters is whether or not Life (1 John 5:20) is part of the picture.  The issue my brain has right now is figuring out how that plays out practically in everyday life – like when my daughter picks up a sassy phrase after playing with another little girl her age. How do I correct the behavior without making it the main issue, condemning the friend or, ultimately, condemning the friend's parents who allow her to speak rudely without correction?  How do I gracefully handle the moments when the outside world comes crashing in through our front door and still teach my daughter what is right?

As my husband pointed out to me during one of our many discussions on this topic, I can’t keep her locked up in the house forever.  That would be the easy fix.  A bit on the traumatizing side of things, for sure.  But, easy nonetheless.  Thank God I have a logical minded husband to keep this emotional brain of mine in check!  

As much as my emotions want to keep my daughter safe from the dangers of the big world out there by locking her away, I really do want her to explore and experience life to the fullest because there is a lot of beauty to be discovered despite the dangers.  My job isn’t to control what life brings to her doorstep, simply to teach her how to handle it when it comes.  Right now we get to deal with foundational things like speaking kindly, obeying and sharing with others.  One day we’ll have other things to deal with that may seem a lot harder than what today has in store. But, the real issue is, do I trust Jesus to keep her? 

The world is big, beautiful and ugly at the same time.  No matter what the world has to offer, I have to trust that Jesus is big enough to hold her. If I get to teach her anything, my prayer is that I teach her that Jesus is always faithful, always available and always overflowing with love. There is no place we can go to escape His love. Who He is isn’t dependent upon what we do.  I hope she grows up knowing this without a doubt in her beautiful little mind. 

As we live today, I am thankful He gives me all kinds of reminders of His love and grace as I raise this little girl He has given.  Yes, parenting is HARD, but I love it. Even when the days are long and tiring, there is nothing else I would rather spend my time doing. Her beautiful smile and hearing her sweet voice say, “I love you, Mommy!” far outweighs any sassy remarks or stubborn independence.  

Yes, will I trust. One moment at a time.