Being the mother of a toddler I am just beginning to enjoy the bad habits children bring home after playing with other kids their age or things they’ve seen or heard out and about. The “sponge phase” is so fun. My husband and I will look at one another after hearing something sassy come out of our daughter's mouth and ask, “Where did she get this from?!” We had the discussion the other day about how parenting doesn’t get any easier the older she gets. I suppose it’s a good thing we’ve come to this conclusion when she’s 2 and not having this reality check in 10 years. There’s always a silver lining.
I’ve had discussions with a few people over the last few weeks about how one ought to combat the bad habits picked up from the outside world. My Mom reminded me of the thousands of conversations she had with my siblings and I when I was growing up that always ended with the question, “And what is your last name?” I always hated hearing that come out of my parents’ mouths when my friends got to do or say things that weren’t permitted in my family, but it’s certainly a phrase my daughter will be hearing. We’re raising her in the way that we believe is right and not everyone is going to agree with us – and that’s okay. Although, it’s easy to say all that until behaviors that are unacceptable in our opinion start entering the picture.
I’m realizing that I am so quick to focus on the behavior of people in a judgmental way. Having grown up under a religion that teaches “sin management” and “behavior modification” it’s really hard to get rid of that old tape playing in my head! I no longer believe the issue is simply behavior related. What matters is whether or not Life (1 John 5:20) is part of the picture. The issue my brain has right now is figuring out how that plays out practically in everyday life – like when my daughter picks up a sassy phrase after playing with another little girl her age. How do I correct the behavior without making it the main issue, condemning the friend or, ultimately, condemning the friend's parents who allow her to speak rudely without correction? How do I gracefully handle the moments when the outside world comes crashing in through our front door and still teach my daughter what is right?
As my husband pointed out to me during one of our many discussions on this topic, I can’t keep her locked up in the house forever. That would be the easy fix. A bit on the traumatizing side of things, for sure. But, easy nonetheless. Thank God I have a logical minded husband to keep this emotional brain of mine in check!
As much as my emotions want to keep my daughter safe from the dangers of the big world out there by locking her away, I really do want her to explore and experience life to the fullest because there is a lot of beauty to be discovered despite the dangers. My job isn’t to control what life brings to her doorstep, simply to teach her how to handle it when it comes. Right now we get to deal with foundational things like speaking kindly, obeying and sharing with others. One day we’ll have other things to deal with that may seem a lot harder than what today has in store. But, the real issue is, do I trust Jesus to keep her?
The world is big, beautiful and ugly at the same time. No matter what the world has to offer, I have to trust that Jesus is big enough to hold her. If I get to teach her anything, my prayer is that I teach her that Jesus is always faithful, always available and always overflowing with love. There is no place we can go to escape His love. Who He is isn’t dependent upon what we do. I hope she grows up knowing this without a doubt in her beautiful little mind.
As we live today, I am thankful He gives me all kinds of reminders of His love and grace as I raise this little girl He has given. Yes, parenting is HARD, but I love it. Even when the days are long and tiring, there is nothing else I would rather spend my time doing. Her beautiful smile and hearing her sweet voice say, “I love you, Mommy!” far outweighs any sassy remarks or stubborn independence.
Yes, will I trust. One moment at a time.
It's kind of exciting to watch as the Treasure will be raised to understand what brings life and what depletes it. to teach her to know in her own heart when that is occuring and then live out of that instead of making judgments about other's. Not that it will never happen, but it is certainly important to do things from an inner compass and knowledge of WHO one is in Christ instead of from pressure of others to behave in certain ways. I wish I knew way back when what I know now... Thankful that God's love & faithfulness reaches through the years and uses all things to work for the good . . . ;-)
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